Welcome toChangbai Mountain tutor network
Add to Favorites |Chinese
Dependence for another tutor to improper recognition of "low self-esteem"
From;    Author:
Queen of the cosmetic shell over fatal accident, many people are wondering, Wang Pui are so beautiful, why should plastic surgery? Informed the beauty industry, 80% of plastic surgery is like icing on the cake! There are some people, because "self-identity" poor, so very dependent on external recognition. Psychology, said people with such personality traits "low self-esteem" were. Exam to do first, the performance to do first, find the most beautiful appearance and so on, they want the "best" rating, in order to achieve self-worth. Because fate is not in their own hands, so they always feel uncertain future, disaster (failure) is approaching, so anxiety, fear, and some will therefore suffer from mental illness. And we are educating many of the ideas is to develop "low self-esteem," the fertile soil! Interview Experts: Crisis Intervention Center, Nanjing Iris Chang 1 Low self-esteem to seek recognition Here the word "self" is not we usually say "this person a strong self-esteem" means, as a personality, simply, is that "People like their own level." People with low self-esteem, poor self-identity, always rely on and seek other people's recognition that the others do not agree that he has no merit. Super Girl was like a monk Han Chun Chun said: "The first game finished, the daily competition, than his own popularity and fans, less of a fan, there is that fear ... ..." Super Queen Pui it? She is already very beautiful, but she did not think so, she says she "has a round face much meat," "star was not yet there have been such a big face", so she should be the eyes, nose, jaw and other a facial plastic surgery together, "so that others will say that they are beautiful", she can make use of popular all the way forward. One college students in Nanjing, candidates assistant manager of a large company, received a notice of appointment, but was told that this gang has been employed instead of others, transposed to other departments to give to her, she refused induction. It is understood that the top of her appointment as an assistant, and education than her, and she looks compared to their own characteristics should be said, but she insisted that other than their own is pretty, began to plastic surgery, first modification of the eyes, your eyes more Great more of God; now plans "grind the face", made of Fan Bingbing fashion as the "little face." 2 Those with high self-esteem to enhance their High self-esteem of the people, like myself, that he is a man of value, feel deserve to be respected. For example, Zhou said: "My heart is strong enough, I just said as a public figure I should say, how many fans, I do not care!" High self-esteem, because there are good self-identity, able to identify their own strengths, so are more able to accept personal shortcomings. For example, Nanjing has 40-year-old female manager of foreign trade companies, chubby body, friends, and found she was fat in a circle, with a total mind better advice: "Do you want to lose weight." Chaos she would laugh squid flutter said: "What is less fat, ah, my husband not bother me fat." She opened the company was good, so she do not care about their own fat. People with high self-esteem, while accepting his weaknesses, not as an excuse to escape, and will strive to improve themselves. For example, former Japanese Prime Minister Tanaka, stuttering teenager suffering from disease, but in politics, there must be eloquent eloquence, for he was determined to overcome stuttering, he learned eloquence, he often recited, slowly read the text, to the exact pronunciation, and he mirror to correct the site of the mouth and tongue, even to the mountains in winter the wind at his to practice speech. Two thousand years ago Aristotle said that "beauty is the best letter of introduction." Appearance as a medium of interpersonal communication was the most direct all the attention. Therefore, people with high self-esteem will go to plastic surgery, but the motivation comes from "self improvement" of concern, their dignity and improve their public image of interest. For example, there was a 38-year-old project development department manageress. Natural flat nose, the original beauty and ugliness of people talk about in public, especially the nose, she can not help but always covered my nose, do plastic surgery to elevate the nose, she said: "I immediately more confident it!" "After the switch to do not worry about when. " Identify themselves, "I am the master of fate", who trade the company's female executives, female managers who developed the Department, are not perfect, but inside are very confident joy. 3 Low self-esteem are unhappy life Low self-esteem, because poor self-identity, self-worth need others to identify, so the heart is always insecure, and prepare a sense of anxiety. Anxiety refers to a lack of clear and objective reasons or unfounded fears feeling the pinch. Fairy tale "Snow White" in the exquisite beauty queen, always ask: "mirror, mirror on the wall, who is most beautiful to the number of the country?" Anxiety, fear of the heart, is evident. Nanjing has already done six or seven times a bit of plastic surgery President, although my friends think she is very beautiful, but she still nap into the plastic surgery hospital, liposuction, rhinoplasty, secondary rhinoplasty ... ... until one day, Surgical Hospital refused her request. The doctor said: "She should not find plastic surgeons, but should go to a psychiatrist." There are bits of 27-year-old guy, always feel the last two years a long crooked nose, to the detriment handsome image, afraid to see, though surrounded by friends and did not find his nose shape. He ignored his family to discourage, in a hospital plastic surgery done 4 times, spent a total of more than 70,000 yuan, the nose has not correct "is" over. Now he watched countless times a day in the mirror his "crooked" nose, very angry, ready to cosmetic surgery hospitals this home court. Psychology experts believe that the faster he has suffered from anxiety, "the bulk barrier," the. Shanghai Volkswagen suicide a few years ago the veterans side macros, but also people with low self-esteem. To outsiders, he was very successful, but he himself was not satisfied. He wanted to perfect handle career and family, but he found that he can not, he tried his best to do it is still dangerous. Before the suicide, the macro side facing a very big problem, that is required, application of foreign exchange to pay his German profit margin, but he was not a moment to raise foreign exchange, which has always been very disloyal to the party macro headache was great, but could do nothing, the day of his suicide, he presided over the meeting to be is to listen to talks from representatives of the German report back. Football Foundation also planning to do the revitalization of the original that well-funded enterprises, and some cold feet, which also makes the macro side anxiety, mood very bad; home wife with cancer, if the death of his wife, 80-year-old mother and son to work in Canada, how should I do? For this he is very depressed mood. Psychological experts say: Anxiety and depression are a pair of twins, when the anxiety, fear developed to a certain extent, people will enter the setbacks, frustration, guilt, self-crime depression, leading to choose to leave the macro side, is the "occult depressive disorder. " 4 High and low self-esteem and family education about Why is the process of growing up, some people have very low self-esteem, some people have developed a higher self-esteem? (1) Attachment Psychology that: in the small, "attachment (or attachment) relationship" to establish good, very useful for shaping self-esteem. Case: King Tony's friend said: "Wangbei Xi Huan hat, she said, no sense of security that did not wear a hat." Perhaps this is a real king Tony, was a little inferior. Tony Wang's self-identity is poor, inner insecurity, which may be a child with her parents divorced early on. A child was born, with the important people (mother, father, etc.) first established a relationship called "attachment relationship." "Attachment to demand" adequate to meet the people, inner sense of security will naturally experience a "differentiation", that is, people gradually have "self-awareness, know who I am, know what I need to confirm my value." If there are defects in the living environment, such as parents not around, or mutual accusations between the parents, raising children after divorce buck-passing, will be due to inability to care for their parents, not the feeling of security, trust, there would be a good differentiation, leading to low self-esteem. (2) appropriate recognition In the process of growth and development, is getting enough recognition of the parents including school teachers, on the ability to form positive self-awareness is very important. Case: One Arts students, looks good, but her heart was inferior, that their ugly. The reason is that a child, her little cousin, her uncle who likes photography, not to her photos. In fact, she is just too small uncle she was a primary school, secondary school cousin as they will pose; art school classmates, one looks better than her classmates and chubby body fat is very proud of their own, said, " Han is not fat it? body fat is a good speaker, listen to the sound better! "her high self-esteem, resulting from the first of her mother is a friend, a son, her mother and her mother's friends who was not on her favorite , and always praise her: "What a cute little princess!" Self-concept formation and recognition of others related to, if demean, to easily lead to low self-esteem. When small children, mental development has not been fully, they determine an important criterion for their behavior, derived from the evaluation of others, especially the people closest to the evaluation. If the child's parents often positive results, ability, so that children feel their worth and to be loved, then they will unconditionally accept themselves, including their ability and appearance, also is commonly known as a "feel good "This is conducive to the cultivation of high self-esteem. (3) require high Low self-esteem based on "perfectionism" and "excellence" of education with their parents is very relationship. Case: King Tony is a friend said "extreme pursuit of the perfect girl." Tony Wang is very small, my mother has great expectations for her. In 2001, Tony Wang admitted as an artistic high school students, learning the piano, dance, vocal music, professional achievements has been one of the highest class. Three years, she practiced every day Diaosang Zi sound, together with her mother the day she vocalization, mother to the river running exercise. Case: Shanghai Volkswagen macro well-born family in the former party boss, is the offspring of Anhui Tongcheng Fang Bao, from small to shoulder the hopes of revitalizing the family. Many parents who set high requirements in order to spur children. When children fail, they said: "This test will not do, next to oil"; When the children reached, they said: "This good, but you should be able to test the strength of better." Whether a child has to reach goals, is always heard: "not good enough, again efforts." In these "instructions", will never be enough people to generate their own good, not like yourself, lack the confidence to rely on outsiders to a good evaluation, to let their inner psychological balance of low self-esteem. Not satisfied with the status quo, the pursuit of progress is good. But if this person has been in a state of low self-esteem, the surrounding environment has been to his progress, his personality will easily be distorted. (4) acceptance of children Unconditional parental love and acceptance, develop their self-esteem is very important. Case: chubby who above that of female CEOs of foreign trade companies, their parents are civil servants. She was young middle grades, students broke into boisterous play like men, though his father shook his head, saying that his daughter will not have a big breath, but that her enthusiasm, integrity, love to help others, the future will be a "good", it did not give her learning too much pressure. Psychology, divided into high and low achievement, but no difference in the value of human nature. If the parents can see children with these values, the children will better appreciate their own achievements and merits. When they do well, they can simply tell yourself: "I am doing well, I can take a break" so they will more power savings to meet for new targets. Cases of female CEOs of the companies in Shanghai, a foreign office, opened the company back to Nanjing after marriage. Friends say: She is a confident, happy person. 5 Try to make yourself happier Personality has become difficult to change, and that low self-esteem are far from the mental disorders, how to allow yourself to be happy? We must first understand their own, if you find yourself "someone else's evaluation of particular importance, particularly to the pursuit of perfection", we should remind ourselves whether it is a "low self-esteem" of the people. If you find that they are "low self-esteem", it is necessary to change the perception: If no success, please do not blame yourself, consider the objective, their own efforts on the line. "'Super Girl' achievements of others, but the king did not accomplish my shell, not the king of my shell No!" May be able to think so hard, but the only way to make yourself happier. Furthermore, it is best to "according to their actual capabilities and external environment," to determine the suitability of the ideal, to select those suitable for them, the activities to achieve, so good for increasing self-esteem. Rather than the just-do, have to squeeze single-plank bridge, when the star. In addition, timely feedback on the success of behavior, but also can increase the level of individual self-esteem. Low self-esteem, often very anxious and fail to target anxiety, fear of failure anxiety, to make some of their psychological peace, it is best not to trouble the kind of entertainment to go, but also less powerful rhythm of the song to sing, and if must, like the king, as in the shell environment as work, rest, it is best to listen to more quiet and melodious song, listen to string and wind music, so that some of their anxiety calm. See the best sunset in the evening to take exercise, rather than the mountains to the water to relax. His (her) relatives and friends, the best sure they continue to praise, rather than the king, as Tony's mother, urged her to new heights. If the "anxiety, mood very bad", it is best to take them to see a psychiatrist.
About us | Legal Notices | Sitemap | Links | Partner